its 2am...

I doubt anyone reads this...lol. I'm so tired but way too lazy to get up off my butt to go to bed. I'm probably going soon.

anyway, I'm up to 20 subscribers on YouTube! yay. I'm hoping to start doing reviews, tutorials, things like that since i have the time. i just feel like, I'm not fafinettex3, or dulcecandy87, or juicystar07. I don't have the money to buy new products, since I'm unemployed. so i guess ill work with what I've got...

i do my makeup my own way, I'm not skilled in blending or anything like that. i do what works for me. =/

oh well. I'm gonna just try and see what happens. for the people who've subscribed, thank you so much! it means alot.

♥

one big fat UGHH

Im so annoyed today. Not sure if its from my period. Or because Im over living on my own and ready to get a house with Chris. Maybe its because when I need somethin done here, i can never depend on my family. Noone comes to visit me. Should I ask them to visit? I dont feel like I should have to. Just call before ya come. My parents act like they live 4956748934 miles away but theyre less than 10 minutes away. Its no that difficult!

My sister only calls when she needs something. I could go days, maybe weeks without hearing from her, and I hate it!!! =[

I guess I'm also frustrated that it'll be a year since I've been out of work.

Ive been keeping busy with looking for a job, tanning =], making videos for youtube....yea. I pretty much love my life, but I hate not having a job, and living on my own is lame now.

<3

im tired

I need to start updating this. I promise I will. Im also gonna start making youtube videos on makeup/fashion and my everyday life. =]

Seriously?

I'm so fucking aggravated today it's not even funny.

Gym

Sooo damn, havent gone to the gym in over a month, until TODAY! felt so good. I ran a mile on the tredmill and did the bike for 2 miles.

i'm cutting down on fast food. no more of that shit. the only reason i eat it, is because its easy to get. so i made a pact with chris, no more mcdonalds, wendys, whatever else. just my daily coffee from mickey d's haha. thats all im allowed. i feel better already.

my goal weight is 115. right now im 140.2 yea i said it! i want to be at that weight by december 31st of this year. i want to be in my bikini and not feel like everyone is staring. i used to weigh 110, until i met chris and forget it. i got so comfortable and that was it.

ive had to buy bigger jeans, i split two pairs in the last year and a half, at a BAR! bigger shirts..it sucks. im not happy with my body the way it is so i need to change it.

♥

wow

two people i can't stand right now. will.i.am & jon gosselin.